The Open House

Tasting notes

Ben and Emily are touring what could be their first home. Emily adores it at once and wanders off with a tape measure, so the realtor offers Ben a solo walk through the top floor. Alone. Episode 1 is a lesson in staging: big windows, great light, a lock on the door, and a smile that suggests the honeymoon may be over. She asks if he wants a test run of the mattress. Episode 2 keeps Emily just downstairs, frowning at a shut door, while the realtor checks the lock and Ben tries to keep his composure. He is calling this research. The realtor is calling it a closing.

Flavor profile

Sales talk as seduction: she knows the floor plan, the schedule and exactly how long a wife takes to measure a kitchen. The free episodes keep to double meanings, a closing door and a very nervous husband.

Allergy advice Contains: open doors, shut doors and a realtor who closes more than sales. May contain traces of a husband who forgets where to look.

Best enjoyed Pairs nicely with a lazy weekend of browsing listings and imagining whom the previous owners never told you about.